Thursday, December 26, 2013
Christmass time
I work in retail now so in all honesty, I hate the idea of Christmas. But today wasn't that bad. I held a baby and drank a lot of coffee. I also spent some time with my (new) boyfriend's family. They're pretty great. I got an unexpected present from his mom and sisters. It was a mug, some Starbucks hot chocolate and headphones to go with the iPod he bought me. Then we went to his room to wait for dinner to be done and fell asleep for hours. It was such a calm, relaxing day. I could get used to things being so easy with someone. Anyways, by do is whining so I must stop typing, and start petting. And I'm excited for my nieces and nephew to come into town tomorrow!!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
New Car!!
I don't have much to say right now. Or maybe I can't think of anything to say because all I can think about is my new car!! Today, I went into town with the intentions to stop at like 4 dealerships and just get an idea of what I wanted to get. The first dealership I went to was Fiat of Reno and I didn't leave until I signed the papers for a 2012 Dodge Avenger! I'm so happy! That is all!
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Hi!
So it's been months since I've been on here. Like really wrote a post. So it's time to update (to update the zero people that read this blog?). I guess what I'm trying to do is reflect on mself and I don't care if anyone reads it. I'm going to evaluate my "New Years Goals".
This is them (copy & pasted from 1/1/2013):
1. Enroll in some kind of classes for the summer semester.
2. Find a new home on our own (me & Hachi) by the end of this year but preferably, by my 20th birthday
3. Find out exactly where Josh's and mine relationship is going.
4. Be more positive and affectionate.
5. Make some friends; I'm sick of being alone.
Here's my progress:
1. I didn't take any summer courses. I had trouble transferring my credits from CSN to TMCC. But I eventually got it done and am now enrolled in 5 courses for Fall of 2013. I am on my way to becoming a teacher!
2. I still live with my Gramps. For now, I am okay with that. I have a vision of where I'd like to be living next year though.
3. Our relationship wasn't going anywhere. He was an asshole. I loved him, but I wasn't in love. I realized how bad he treated me and we had a mutual breakup. I haven't spoke to him much since then (February). I'm seeing a new boy though. He's really great. Tall, affection, caring, family-oriented; everything I want.
4. I am being a lot more positive! Everyone has noticed. And it's true what they say about the power of positive thinking, I've accelerated much more in life since I've changed the way I think. I'm working on being affectionate. I try to express everything to my new guy but sometimes it's hard to put feelings into words. The only person (?) I can be completely open and affectionate with is Hachi :3
5. I haven't made any really good friends. Not like I had in high school. I miss sleepovers and hour long phone conversations. I miss being bored and being able to call up one of my friends to just hang out. I'm not talking really about my partying stage and those friends. More like my 9th and 10th grade friends. I wish I would've held on to them. I miss you Marilyn!
And this is how life is for me. I'm not very happy, but I'm working on getting there. I know I'm the only person that can make my happiness a reality.
Oh and here's my favorite song for like the past year. Enjoy!
Thursday, March 7, 2013
It's been awhile
And I don't really feel like blogging at the moment but I'll start again soon!
Enjoy this video in the meantime!
Enjoy this video in the meantime!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Friday, February 8, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Friday, February 1, 2013
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Self Obsessed
I always wonder if I'm self obsessed. Certainly the fact that on this blog I haven't posted anything but pictures of my face in over a month point to the fact that yes, I am obsessed with myself. Certainly when someone says 'self obsessed' a person thinks "in love with themselves" or "only thinks about themselves", anything along those lines. I however admit to being obsessed with myself as a person in a different way.
I think about my self all the time. I think about what I've done in the past, how could that have shaped the future I'm in now? How did that one day after Christmas make me the person that I don't like to look at?
I think about how every little word I say can affect the people around me. I don't mean this as in I speak profoundly and people should treat me as if I was Winston Churchill. I mean that if my mother asks me if I like her new phone and I say "It makes no difference, I don't care", she could take it as I don't love her.
Then that get s me to thinking, "Do I love my mother/father'? I have all this angry built up inside of me towards them. There's no reason to be mad at them, they lived their lives now I need to live mine.
But then I think, "Am I really living my life, or walking through it like a dark silhouette"? All I do is work and sleep. I don't interact with people, I don't make friends. I don't have in-depth conversations with people I just met and find so many coincidences with our lives that we come to find out after 2 hours of talking that we were just made to be friends.
And when I post these pictures of myself, most of the time I don't like them. I know I'm not ugly, nor am I pretty. But sometimes when you take a picture (like all the time) it looks to be at a horrible angle and you have to take five more to get one that satisfies you. I wonder how have I had this face for almost twenty years and I still don't know how to make it look good?
So yes I am self obsessed. I self analyze all the time. Think about my mistakes and little moments in the past that shaped who I am today. Then I think of little moments that I could make happen today, that could somehow shape a better me. So that maybe, just maybe, in five years I might like the person I have become.
I think about my self all the time. I think about what I've done in the past, how could that have shaped the future I'm in now? How did that one day after Christmas make me the person that I don't like to look at?
I think about how every little word I say can affect the people around me. I don't mean this as in I speak profoundly and people should treat me as if I was Winston Churchill. I mean that if my mother asks me if I like her new phone and I say "It makes no difference, I don't care", she could take it as I don't love her.
Then that get s me to thinking, "Do I love my mother/father'? I have all this angry built up inside of me towards them. There's no reason to be mad at them, they lived their lives now I need to live mine.
But then I think, "Am I really living my life, or walking through it like a dark silhouette"? All I do is work and sleep. I don't interact with people, I don't make friends. I don't have in-depth conversations with people I just met and find so many coincidences with our lives that we come to find out after 2 hours of talking that we were just made to be friends.
And when I post these pictures of myself, most of the time I don't like them. I know I'm not ugly, nor am I pretty. But sometimes when you take a picture (like all the time) it looks to be at a horrible angle and you have to take five more to get one that satisfies you. I wonder how have I had this face for almost twenty years and I still don't know how to make it look good?
So yes I am self obsessed. I self analyze all the time. Think about my mistakes and little moments in the past that shaped who I am today. Then I think of little moments that I could make happen today, that could somehow shape a better me. So that maybe, just maybe, in five years I might like the person I have become.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
The Holidays
I hate holidays, I didn't enjoy Christmas, and New Years is a waste of time too. But I like resolutions that are attainable and so it's time I make a resolution list I guess.
1. I hope that I get a completely new life and as of 2013 and I wake up a new person, in a new house, with a new family, and a new head full of memories.
I'm just wishing the impossible but really, I want next year to be full of changes and I hope these goals I'm about to set I can reach. I feel like I always fall short of what I try to do. This year I want to be independent and headstrong; I don't want anything to get in my way. So here's the real list:
1. Enroll in some kind of classes for the summer semester.
2. Find a new home on our own (me & Hachi) by the end of this year but preferably, by my 20th birthday
3. Find out exactly where Josh's and mine relationship is going.
4. Be more positive and affectionate.
5. Make some friends; I'm sick of being alone.
1. I hope that I get a completely new life and as of 2013 and I wake up a new person, in a new house, with a new family, and a new head full of memories.
I'm just wishing the impossible but really, I want next year to be full of changes and I hope these goals I'm about to set I can reach. I feel like I always fall short of what I try to do. This year I want to be independent and headstrong; I don't want anything to get in my way. So here's the real list:
1. Enroll in some kind of classes for the summer semester.
2. Find a new home on our own (me & Hachi) by the end of this year but preferably, by my 20th birthday
3. Find out exactly where Josh's and mine relationship is going.
4. Be more positive and affectionate.
5. Make some friends; I'm sick of being alone.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)